I deserve nothing.
I’m kind of in a bad place right now, and I feel like no one cares.
According to my plans I was going to meet up with my shrink today, but had to cancel ‘cause my boss asked if I could start earlier at work. I regretted the fact that I said yes ‘cause I really need to talk to someone. I just feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time, even my shrink’s time though. And I feel like I shouldn’t make a new appointment with him ‘cause it seems that he thinks I’m a whiner or something. The only thing that’s keeping me going is the hope/wish of being skin and bones and that I’m at the verge of death and then I maybe see how much people care… ‘cause at the moment I just don’t feel like anyone is. It’s scary though.. ‘cause I “know” a lot of people. A lot of people know of my existence but still none of them would probably care if I’d drop dead.
I feel so ugly and unwanted and I feel like I’m an awful person.
